August 2009


On Saturday night, my friend Jen and I made a delicious pre-race dinner and ate while watching “The Spirit of the Marathon” (watch out–this movie will make you want to run one!!!)

Garlic bread, spinach/romaine/avocado/red pepper salad, balsamic tomatoes, whole-wheat spinach noodles with homemade pesto

Garlic bread, spinach/romaine/avocado/red pepper salad, balsamic tomatoes, whole-wheat spinach noodles with homemade pesto

Then, we went to bed in preparation for a 4 AM wakeup call and drive out to Jamesport, Long Island . . .

crazy clouds on the Long Island Expressway

crazy clouds on the Long Island Expressway

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Jamesport

Jamesport

Race start (by the water)

Race start (by the water)

The 10K started on the Long Island sound, wound through farms and countryside and ended at the Peconic Bay. I stayed at a steady, comfortable pace of around 10:40/mi. and finished in 1 hr. 6 minutes. I didn’t really have a goal time, and had a bit of a realization in the middle of the run: even though I knew I could go faster if I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, I had little desire to. What I LOVE about running, the thing that brings me back to it, is the happy, fuzzy mental place you hit in the middle of a longer run — there’s no past, no future, and no worries, just your breath, surroundings, and feet hitting the ground. THIS is why I run — not because I want to achieve a fast time or push myself to my physical breaking point. Maintaining that mental (and physical!) focus over a period of 6 miles is enough of a challenge!

So, I’m happy to say that this run felt GREAT. Yes, it was challenging, and yes, there were moments in the beginning (when I wasn’t yet warmed up) when I asked myself “why the heck am I doing this again?!” but I was happy to finish and finish strong.

Pre-race
Pre-race

Jen and I, though we train together, have very different running philosophies. She is a competitive biker, and doesn’t feel like she’s done her best at a physical activity unless she’s totally wasted at the end. So we ran together for 4 miles, and she pulled ahead for the last 2. I thought about trying to catch up with her, but realized I wanted to run the race for ME and nobody else.

One of the perks of this race (besides the watermelon and sorbet afterward!) was the free access to Jamesport beach on Peconic Bay. Jen and I went for a lovely swim and stretched our legs after the run. It was absolutely gorgeous . . .

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Well-deserved (and humungous) Greek salad from Duffy's Deli

I ate a well-deserved (and humungous) Greek salad from Duffy's Deli

Jen and I have signed up for a 15K (~9.3 miles) in the Bronx in December, and depending on how that goes, we may or may not register for the Brooklyn half marathon in May. It feels SO GOOD to be pushing my boundaries and the mental focus I’ve been getting from running has helped me feel more centered and strong despite everything that’s been going on this summer. I am very thankful for it :-)

What was your best running experience? If you’re not a runner, what do you hope to accomplish?

- This week marks my 1-month anniversary at my new job. This job is SO MUCH MORE CALM than my old job. Publishing is not for the faint of heart, and it took me nearly four years to decide that the editor’s life was not for me, but–since it was my first full-time job out of college–I had NO idea that quieter, calmer, less stressful jobs existed. This new job, where I have a quiet office and finish all my work before the end of the day, and get to read manuscripts in my free time/over quiet evenings at home, is just awesome.

- I realize that many of my eating struggles (especially the sugar struggles!) over the last few years were not due to some lack of mental or emotional strength on my part, but mostly due to STRESS! I have no problem making it through the afternoon without a 4PM sweet snack now, something I grew accustomed to at my old job. We’ll see if this change lasts . . .

- I am running my 10K this weekend.  I feel ready! My friend Jen and I have done two practice 10Ks, and we feel prepared. I haven’t been posting about my training runs because I think I’m secretly embarrassed that my version of “training” is running once, MAYBE twice a week, gradually increasing the distance, and just taking long walks the rest of the time (with an occasional yoga class thrown in). Really, that’s nothing to be ashamed of! If anything, it should prove that, if you’re scared of taking up running, it’s not as scary as it seems, and you don’t have to get up at 5AM and go running every day to see progress.

- I am feeling WAY more calm about both food and exercise these days. I think part of the reason why is I decided not to “feed the beast” by posting so often about struggles/insecurities. Venting about that stuff was definitely necessary for awhile, but at this point I think I’ve finally started to BELIEVE that my self-worth is not any less just because I weigh more than I used to.

- Part of the reason I haven’t been posting regularly in the last few months is that I DO feel better, and I feel really happy about the fitness strides I’ve been making. I can honestly say that, for the first time in my life, I’m exercising 100% for the mental clarity and confidence it gives me (and of course the endorphin buzz!), not because I know it’s burning calories. However, I am reluctant to write about fitness milestones b/c I don’t want to “gloat.”

- Similarly, I grow tired of blogs where people talk about how great they feel, how happy they are with their diet, and how fit they feel, having made peace with food and accepted themselves for who they are. If you’re not there yourself, it can feel like it’ll never, ever happen to you. I am shocked that I’m getting there. And it took breaking down everything I was used to–replacing secret freak-outs with blogging, weight watchers with intuitive eating, the gym for the park, veganism for flexible-plant-based vegetarianism–to begin to get there. This is how it has worked for me, but it’s certainly not how it works for everyone!! And I never, ever want to make someone feel worse by writing about how I’m feeling better.

I do have a few upcoming posts planned (including recaps of my trip to Sarah’s CSA farm this weekend and my first (and maybe last?) BeamGreen event last night courtesy of Diana, but I wanted to put it out there that I miss more regular posting but have trouble due to all of the above (the whole not-having-my-own computer thing makes it tough, too).

What are YOU scared to blog about?

homemade salsa

As I mentioned in this post, one of my goals for my 26th year is to get rid of my skin allergies. I visited an allergist last year, and she said I had dermatographism (which literally translates into something like “can write words on your skin in hives” — i.e., if you scratch a pattern into your skin, a red rash will appear in said pattern). She said there’s no cure, and that I should continue to take allergy medicine (which is expensive!!) as needed.

These allergies are REALLY annoying. Without the medicine, my skin breaks out in a red, itchy rash whenever it’s exposed to heat, pressure, or scratching, and even when I’m just stressed. Sometimes, if I haven’t taken a pill in a few days, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I’m going to jump out of my skin. It’s no fun! And conventional medicine doesn’t offer much insight into this condition—not even a potential cause.

The only time I’ve had a reprieve from these symptoms since I was 19, when they started: 1) When I spent a semester studying abroad in India and ate very little processed food and not a lot of fruit or sweets, and NO soy, and 2) When I do periodic raw-food weeks (like this year’s “spring cleaning,” which started here). This makes me think my diet could be a huge contributing factor. People react to the strangest things in food: my mother had a friend in college who swelled up like a balloon when she consumed anything with Yellow #5 in it. This makes me wonder whether a food additive could be giving me these allergies. Thus, I’ve been taking a close look at my diet and see if there’s anything that could be throwing off my histamine levels.

I love what happens when you forget about a pot filled with soaked lentils!

I love what happens when you forget about a pot filled with soaked lentils!

I eat a fairly healthy and balanced diet, but this past year of veganism, soy became my dominant source of protein. And often, soy comes packaged with preservatives and additives.

Along with my energy and weight fluctuations in the last few years – and it seems like getting back to basics (fresh food!) is the most logical place to start.

Sprouted quinoa, pumpkin seeds, and homegrown fresh zucchini in homemade vinaigrette. Delicious.

Sprouted quinoa, pumpkin seeds, and homegrown fresh zucchini in homemade vinaigrette. Delicious.

I alluded to my history with raw food in this post and this post, but haven’t ever really gone into it in detail. Six years ago (phew) I spent a summer living in Boulder, Colorado, and picked up part-time work as a prep cook for a raw foods chef in town. I learned a TON about raw recipes and began creating my own, but in the end raw foods served as another vehicle to restrict my food intake and try to lose more weight. I tried to eat mostly raw food for the next six months or so, but didn’t take a healthy or balanced approach (i.e., would eat a salad with a few nuts on it for lunch and beat myself up if I was hungry a few hours later, and not let myself have a snack, or try to skip dinner, etc.) and didn’t eat enough to fuel my active lifestyle at the time (daily running). I remember at some point realizing that if I sipped kombucha in the morning, I could last until the afternoon without eating, and being really happy about this. If I got hungry, I told myself I needed to give it time, get used to this new way of eating, do a juice fast, etc. Thus, the “raw food diet” has taken on a negative connotation in my life.

swiss chard, carrots, sprouted chick peas, avocado, cherry tomatoes. Heaven.

swiss chard, carrots, sprouted chick peas, avocado, apple, cherry tomatoes. Heaven.

At the end of June, I ran into one of my parents’ neighbors, someone I babysat for when I was in high school. She was absolutely glowing, bright-eyed, and youthful. I mentioned to my mom that she looked great, and my mom forwarded me an e-mail from her with two raw food e-books. Apparently Carrie had adopted this way of eating a couple years earlier, and says she’s never felt better, and “wished she’d read these two books in college.”

This line in her e-mail really hit home for me. I don’t want to wait until I’m in my 40s to enjoy optimum health, to be able to say “I’ve never felt better.” I don’t want to waste my 20s feeling sub-par, lethargic in the morning at work, starving in the middle of the afternoon because my blood sugar is crashing from eating too many sweets during the day. Yes, it was important for me to eat sweets this past year as I got over my fear of forbidden foods like chocolate-chip cookies, but now that these foods aren’t forbidden, I don’t even want them that much anymore. They make me feel icky, like I’ve punished myself somehow.

More chard, carrots, avocado, and sprouted chick peas, this time with a side of brown rice and bbq baked tofu
More chard, carrots, avocado, and sprouted chick peas, this time with a side of brown rice and bbq baked tofu (I’m sticking to edamame, tofu, and tempeh — the least processed and most digestion-friendly forms of soy protein, in my opinion).

So, In the month or so since my birthday, I’ve begun to redefine raw food for myself. Now, I refer to it as FRESH FOOD! I have been trying to eat more fresh food, and find ways to combine fresh foods that give me good energy and are satisfying to my tummy.  During my “clean-house” weeks, I always feel AWESOME, and get a nice break from the allergies, so why not eat that type of food more often, not just as a tool when I feel myself relying too much on sugar for an energy quick-fix? This shift has been more in the spirit of Diana’s Radventures than a “new diet” or “100% overnight overhaul” kinda thing. And frankly, I feel like many people who enjoy good health eat close to this way, without labeling it “raw,” “fresh,” or anything else. We all know that fresh food is good for us!

So here’s to more freshness, without rules or restrictions :-)

homemade white wine sangria!! Includes the zest and juice of 1 lime, apples, green grapes, and pears

homemade white wine sangria with lots of fresh fruit :-) Includes the zest and juice of 1 lime, apples, green grapes, and pears

The leftovers, in my empy hummus container (thanks again, Diana!) - equally delicious.Greens, sprouted chick peas, and raw pumpkin seeds, in my almost- empty hummus container (thanks again, Diana!) – equally delicious.
dinner for 1

dinner for 1 (I seem to crave cooked food most often in the evening, and I'm happy to oblige that craving).

This shift has been more in the spirit of Diana’s Radventures than a “new diet” or “100% overnight overhaul” kinda thing.