Many of you have expressed displeasure at the fact that, when you look through old pictures, you remember the things you struggled with at that time more than the fun you had. It’s true for me too. Part of me feels like I’ve changed SO much over the years, going from “out of control” to “in control” of school/life/weight/whatever, and when I used to look at old pictures, my varying physical state reaffirmed that feeling. But when I look back now, I see the same person year after year. The physical changes seem so inconsequential. And I’m going to use this post as an opportunity to LET IT GO—all the insecurity, all the “on-the-wagon”/”off-the-wagon” bulls@#t, and the hope that one day I will return to a prior state of being. As Diana put it in a comment on my last post, I’m kicking that bitch to the curb.
At the beach w/ sis & aunt, August 2003: felt fit but fat
August 2004: 30 lbs. heavier, felt out of control
Sonny & Vani as Yoko & John, October 2004: felt fugly
with sisters (on far right), Christmas 2006: felt like I had a decent level of fitness and tenuous hold on balanced eating
in Spain (far left), November 2007: felt bloated and sugar-addicted
with sisters (on far right) May 2009: felt GOOD. eating less sugar, exercising moderately, forgiving myself for "slip-ups." Writing on the blog. Moving on.
What are you kicking to the curb today??
May 26, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Very beautiful pics Vani. You and your sisters are beautiful!!
May 26, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Vani, you look absolutely gorgeous in ALL of these pictures. And I love that you’re letting go of all of that insecurity. You are who you are RIGHT NOW, and you’re trusting yourself to make decisions that will benefit you emotionally, mentally, and physically. Yay for letting it go!!!
May 26, 2009 at 6:21 pm
beautiful pics, regardless of the feelings at the time. Isn’t it strange how we remember some things about certain times in our lives and not other things?
I think it’s awesome that you’ve been feeling so great and letting this stuff go – you’re an inspiration
I’m trying super hard to get rid of the guilt that still pops up every now and then. It’s hard to go from sticking to a plan every day for a few years to not. it’s hard, but i’m working on it.
May 26, 2009 at 6:39 pm
You look fantastic in all of them! Seriously! This is a good exercise
I am letting go feeling overwhelmed about the next few days of packing and re-organizing my life for Brooklyn. I can do it!
May 26, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Oh wow this hits home…I’ve just been going through old boxes with diary snippets and photos from back then. I’ve decided to throw them out – not the normal pics, but the ones body obsessed ones and the diary entries with such awful self-hate-talk. It made me so sad to realize every piece of writing is covered with it. I’m kicking that to the curb!
I agree, you look gorgeous in all of them. You’re moving on hun!
May 26, 2009 at 8:43 pm
You are gorgeous! And totally glowing in the last pic.
I’m letting go of judgements, competition, expectations. Of myself and others.
May 26, 2009 at 10:31 pm
You look beautiful in all your pics girl! Good for you for loving every part of yourself now
May 26, 2009 at 10:31 pm
i love this post! way to LET IT GO!
May 27, 2009 at 2:48 am
I have to say, you look like a hottie in Every pic!
http://eatingchalk.wordpress.com
May 27, 2009 at 4:05 pm
You look fantastic in every single picture! Kick any negativity to the curb
May 27, 2009 at 6:44 pm
YEAH girl kick her HARD! You’re so money and you dont even know it.
This is a great reminder, though. It is weird how you can look at past pictures of yourself and bring back how you were feeling about yourself at that time, and yet the pictures don’t lie…without fail I look at the college pics of myself and think of how happy I was at that time – I was nearly glowing. Incidentally, at that time, I both worried less and likely weighed less – I don’t know, I didn’t worry about weight so much that I wanted to get on a scale! I’ve been to the other end of the spectrum and back, and thinking somewhere in the middle is fine, so long as I remember I’m still me and I’m the architect of what I want that to feel like! Boo on comparing myself to this, that or the other thing.
May 27, 2009 at 9:21 pm
i have to agree with some other people by thinking that you looked gorgeous in all of them!!
i really want to kick the habbit of trying to get 5 a day.. I know one day won’t kill me.
May 27, 2009 at 10:43 pm
I just stumbled across your blog!
I loved this post and what you had to say. It is true that we always look back on our pictures and remember how we felt about ourselves at that time. I guess it also helps to look back become inspired by them.
Good post!!