• Ah, the humble bullet point. I’m not sure who invented you, but you certainly help me out when my head feels like a jumbled mess!

But before I go down that road, I just want to give you guys a big hug and say THANK YOU! for your kind words on my rather stress-laden last post. I appreciate it so much.

There are so many things going on that I’m not sure where to start. I hope you guys don’t mind that I treat this blog like a journal. Seriously: I never write in a journal anymore, and this is the kind of stuff that used to go into it (plus, of course, embarrassing poems about boys I liked):

  • S.’s job. It’s something that he will figure out on his own, I’m not worried about him, and while it’s stressful now, this is good for him in the long run because he’ll find something that he likes better than his last job. I have full faith in him.
  • Teaching. It’s something I’ve always thought I wanted to do. However, sometimes when you think you want to do something, you realize in the course of trying to get there that it might not be right for you. Sorry, that was a horrible sentence!
  • Example: when I was in college, I thought I wanted to transfer to another school at the end of my sophomore year. In the course of applying to transfer to two other schools, I realized that I didn’t actually want to leave the school, I just wanted to change my major from English to Anthropology/Music and study abroad. Which I did.
  • Why teaching is not right for me: I enjoy one-on-one work with people. It’s my favorite thing. I love meeting with the girl I mentor and talking about her writing—what’s strong, what could be stronger, grammatical inconsistencies, etc. I loved meeting one-on-one with special-needs and ESL kids during my college and post-college tutoring/teaching jobs. However, teaching is not one-on-one.
  • Why I love one-on-one work: I love to help people find their writing “voice.” When I can clearly express my thoughts and feelings, I gain a sense of power and ownership over them. It helps keep me from being self-destructive. I love it when I feel like I can help someone else find that power in their own words.
  • What it boils down to: I am trying to find my own voice and want to be more creative. Being more creative is scary. Helping kids be more creative is infinitely rewarding, but not scary.
  • What it really boils down to: I need to stop second-guessing myself. Rather than channel so much energy into finding the perfect career, I need to keep doing what I’m doing—volunteering, enjoying my job for its own merits (and the amazing people I work with)—and keep trying to find my own voice. I’ll keep writing songs, keep up the blog, keep reading, and try to find more and more creative outlets. It is scary because the more you put yourself out there, the higher the chance of being rejected. And the more you chase inspiration, the more it hurts when you lose it. But those aren’t good reasons to stop being creative!
  • Something to celebrate: The band I play in (This Reporter) is going to be recording 2 songs I wrote, and working them into rotation in our performances :-) I’m really excited about this—I’m not a great singer but really enjoy writing songs, and I LOVE our singer Jen’s voice. I think she’ll do an amazing job with them. I put the songs up on my music page if you’d like to listen (“Nothing I Can Do” and “Tennessee”) :-)
  • Things to be thankful for (thanks, RuntoFinish, for reminding me to be thankful): my family, my health, my partner, my dog, a roof over my head, as much food and water as I need, the girl I mentor, the blog world, the ability to write at all, my sanity, the sunshine today.

Many of you are recent college graduates/masters degree students/teachers yourselves. I would love any advice you could give me. Is your job something you love, or just a way of supporting your “extracurricular” passions? How did you get where you are? Where do you want to go?!